Dating… it’s rough business! Especially when you’re a practicing Christian, now add in the intensity of being a teenager amid a hyper sexualized culture, “Complicated” is more than an understatement. As a teen, you’re already confused about a lot of things. Everything from how your mind is developing down to some crazy bodily transformations, and it’s all happening fast. It’s quite a bit to take in. Thankfully though, being a teenager still has its perks. You’ve been gifted with loads of energy that 30+ year old people DREAM of having again. You have natural resilience, and an ability to keep getting back up once you’ve fallen. You’re not easily dissuaded when you put your mind to something, and goal setting and accomplishing is much easier at your age. One of the best things about being a teenager is some of you can eat whatever you want and barely go to the gym and still look ripped. It’s a good time. But dating is still tough business. So hopefully these tips will help you utilize your existing awesomeness to do a good work when it comes to the science of experiencing intimate, healthy, God-fearing love as a teenager.
1. Make a commitment to God first.
Making a commitment or a promise to God early on is an important way of developing your moral compass as a teenager. You’re going to be pulled and influenced in a thousand directions during your teenage years, it’s much harder to find your way when you don’t have a device to keep you on track when you’re in the wilderness. Your moral standing is like your compass in the wilderness of life, the stronger your commitment to something the stronger and more sensitive your compass will be and the easier you will find it is to know where you’re going. Pray and ask for the Lord’s guidance as you make commitments on where you will draw the line when it comes to sexual and emotional involvement prior to marriage.
2. Seek out a relationship with someone who has similar beliefs to yours.
This is easier said than done, but it is important should you choose to be involved in a relationship. Dating someone who has similar beliefs to you will be so much more manageable and pleasant than dating someone who doesn’t agree with your commitments and virtues. The outcome of such a relationship includes frustration, heartache, and in most cases compromise. Compromise is a slippery slope to dance on, when once you loosen your firm hold on principle, it becomes easier and easier to do so until you’ve broken your commitments to God and ventured on emotionally complicated and often life changing territory. If you’re really interested in dating at this time, try to find a suitable person within your church circle who is balanced and has healthy relationships with other like-minded Christians, and has a common interest in exercising God-fearing principles.
3. Set boundaries and rules early on in your relationship.
Sometimes dating someone who has similar beliefs to you though isn’t enough. You both need to set boundaries. This ties into your commitments in Tip 1. You design your boundaries around the commitment you made to God, whether this commitment is full chastity (abstinence from any form of sexual activity) or that anything beyond sharing a kiss is crossing the boundary. For example, when it comes to your body, no one should be at liberty to touch it or do things to you without your consent, this is a boundary. Another is agreeing not to be at a home alone with the person you’re dating, or even being alone in a bedroom, even if there are others in the home. It’s not to say that you are not trustworthy or can’t control yourself, it’s a matter of limiting unnecessary temptation. Agree that you can enjoy each other’s company in friend groups, with family, or in public places. You can still have a great time and learn a lot about each other without having to navigate the naturally tempestuous passions a private environment can create.
4. Don’t date in secret.
This can generate quite a cascade of unfavorable and complex events. Often good Christian teenagers are afraid to confide in their God-fearing parents concerning their feelings towards an individual that captured their attention and interest. They then seek to develop a relationship without the guidance and approval of wiser individuals who can better influence their behavior. This lack of support and guidance then perpetuates secrecy that transforms into pressure to exercise unwise and again often life changing activity. Keep things transparent and in the open.
5. Exercise trust in God, develop patience.
Even if you find yourself in a healthy relationship during your teenage years, take these tips into consideration. But if you don’t currently have any prospects, trust me when I tell you God has your best interest in mind. He has someone very special for you, but sometimes meeting that special someone will require time for them and yourself to properly develop. The best way to cultivate patience is to have an opportunity to exercise it, use this period to exercise it. In the meantime, cherish your single years if the Lord sees it best for you to do so. Take it as a chance to get through a bucket list of goals and desires you wish to attain, whether education, the arts, music, poetry, writing, or exercise. Become a pro at a craft you love. Colossians 3:17 reads “And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by Him”. Romance between two wise and mature individuals is a beautiful thing, but it is very distracting. Your single years are a blessing, and everything is beautiful in its season.
Conclusion
Developing your Christian virtues and integrity as a teenager goes on to service you not only in dating and later in marriage, but also in other important areas of your life. Integrity, nobility, and virtue are all muscles that can either get wonderfully strengthened or sadly destroyed during the training period of our youth. Remember Jeremiah 29:11 is wonderful verse that you can trust and claim: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope.” Uphold the Lord’s principles in self-control, prayer, patience, and trust and you are sure to experience His good plan without the burden of regret.
