I’m sorry you and your husband are facing this. That can be a very lonely and painful change in a marriage, and having sexual needs does not make you a bad Christian wife.
The Bible presents sexual intimacy as a good part of marriage (1 Corinthians 7:3–5), but it also recognizes that our bodies are affected by weakness and illness. If your husband is physically unable because of a medical condition, this is not the same as a spouse selfishly withholding intimacy.
The first thing I would encourage is honest, gentle communication with him. You do not need to hide your needs, but neither should he feel blamed for something he cannot physically control. Depending on his condition, it may also be worth speaking with his doctor, because sometimes there are safe treatments or different forms of physical affection and intimacy that remain possible.
Beyond that, protect the marriage rather than looking outside it for sexual fulfillment. Scripture calls us to sexual faithfulness even when circumstances are difficult (Hebrews 13:4). At the same time, you and your husband can still cultivate closeness through affection, touch, tenderness, conversation, prayer, and other expressions of marital love.
I would also bring this honestly before God. He already knows the frustration, grief, and unmet longing you may be carrying. Ask Him for self-control, wisdom, and peace rather than feeling ashamed for having those desires (Galatians 5:22–23; Philippians 4:6–7).
This is one of those situations where compassionate Christian marriage counseling may also help both of you grieve what has changed and find ways to remain close without either spouse feeling pressured or abandoned.
Your husband’s medical limitation does not make your marriage less real, and your unmet needs do not make you spiritually unfaithful. What matters is how you respond to them - with honesty, faithfulness, tenderness, and dependence on God.
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