What do I do to my mother in law’s continual interference in my married life? Can you help me?

mother-in-lawHello I,

Thank you for contacting BibleAsk.

The Bible teaches the “leave and cleave” principle of God’s order for marriage “And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:23-24).

A man and woman leave their birth families and begin a new family, and they cleave to each other with love. A husband that allows interference from his parents, in-laws, or extended family is not following God’s command in Ephesians 5:25-33.

Here are some guidelines for the married couples in relation to their parents and extended family:

1-Explain to the parents God’s directions of the leave and cleave principle in Genesis 2:23-24 and Ephesians 5:25-33.

2-Set respectful and loving boundaries (Ephesians 6:4).

3- Guard your privacy. Keep family problems inside your home (James 4:11).

4-Assure your parents and in-laws of your continual love to them (Deuteronomy 5:16). Spend quality time with them (Mark 12:31).

5-Allow parents and in-laws to spend enough time with your children (1 Corinthians 13). Involve parents and in-laws with your family occasions like birthdays, holidays, graduations…etc. (Ephesians 4:2).

6-Never dishonor your partner before your parents or in-laws (Ephesians 5:22-33).

7-Pray to God with your parents and in-laws (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

8-Be financially independent if possible (Romans 13:8).

9-Always apply the “golden rule”- Do unto others what you wish them do unto you (Matthew 7:12).

10-Make sure you meet the financial obligations of the needy elderly family members (1 Timothy 5:8).

Parents and in-laws should be treated with respect and love “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32).

Remember that the fifth commandment is the only commandment with a promise of a long life, “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee” (Exodus 20:12).

In His service,

BibleAsk Team

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