“Someone can love someone without knowing how to love them correctly”. Any thoughts?

Author: BibleAsk Team


Automatic Transcript Generated:

Speaker 1

Robert is saying, my girlfriend and I were discussing love. It was a great conversation. She mentioned that someone can love someone but doesn’t know how to love them correctly. I believe there’s truth to it. Thoughts?

Speaker 2

Yeah, I mean sorry, I don’t mean to jump.

Speaker 3

No, no, go.

Speaker 2

I think going back to kind of jay, you were talking about Ephesians, chapter five earlier. You know, and I know, Robert, you had mentioned, you know, the verse which was Ephesians 533, but in verse 25, I know Jerry, you’re talking about husbands love your wives. And so it doesn’t just love your wives because it’s like, what does that mean? But God gives us more clarity even as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for it. So, yeah, definitely we can love in a way that’s incorrect. I think if your girlfriend’s talking about this, this sounds like a good girl. I like this. This is good. So definitely there’s some truth to that. You might not know how to love the right way because some men will hit their wives and they’ll say, I hit you because I love you. No, they don’t know how to love the right way. That’s not how Christ loved the church. So God is saying you need to love the love of God, which is an unselfish love and a way that is loving and is kind, that reflects the fruit of his spirit, which has joy, love, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, self control.

Speaker 2

These types of attributes which are an attribute of God. And when God says he declares his name, his glory, his character, it’s the Lord God merciful. So God is a kind god. He is a merciful, loving God. Not like other people say, oh, I love you. But she’s correct in saying people might not know how to love the right way. Some people are overly jealous, some people are abusive. Some people have love, but they don’t do it correctly. And their correct way is to love as God loves, which is a balanced love that is loving and selfless, but also has appropriate and healthy boundaries. Because God definitely sets up appropriate boundaries when he gave us his commandments and other things. So I think that’s definitely a lot of truth to that.

Speaker 1

Yep. And I just wanted to add to that too. If you look at the difference of how Jesus healed people and saw them at a very deep loving level versus the know, the average disciple would try may show up initially until they learned. I mean, Jesus is teaching his disciples his ways of seeing and loving. So if it was easy for us to do this, we would all be doing it perfectly from birth, but it’s not. And the whole point of Jesus coming here and doing everything he did is to show us how to love people. That’s that’s my interpretation of.

Speaker 3

And maybe maybe a part of this. Loving them correctly is also there’s a certain subjective level to it, too, where every individual might want to be loved in a different way or have different expectations, different needs. So there’s not necessarily a one size fits all way to love someone. Like, don’t treat everybody all exactly the same. It’s really about meeting people where they’re at. And Jesus did that. He didn’t treat every person exactly the same. He knew exactly where to go, what to say to help them, to really love them where they’re at. And so with that comes this concept that, yeah, we’re not all going to be loving correctly. Most of the time we’re not. And to love is really about growth, personal growth, being committed to learning, getting better, growing more experience, more wisdom, more discernment. And it also takes getting to know that other person and communicating with them, speaking, listening, all these things are critical to love being present. And so, yeah, love very much becomes a part. That’s why we say love is a state of being and it’s a way of life. It’s not a one time thing. It is this continual process that we engage in that we show to others and minimize ourselves and lift up others in our so can you love without loving mean?

Speaker 3

I think you almost say, like, can you parent without parenting? Yeah, but as Tina, when you’re saying there is a higher standard that we should be calling to and aiming to striving to always get better with our love.

Speaker 1

And I’ll just give a simple example of that as well, like, kind of in daily life as husband and wife. If Jay is like, I’m really craving, I really need some fruit, right? Like, that’s what my body needs is fruit. And I bring him a plate of greens, like green vegetables. That’s not really loving him, right? Like, it’s food, and he’s hungry and he needs food. But if what his body needs right now is fruit and I give him vegetables, that’s probably not going to be like he’s probably not going to feel the most loved by that because I didn’t help him in the way he needed help at that moment. So that’s why love is an action. It’s how we show up for each other and for the needs that the other person has at that very moment. It might be that later in the day he needs vegetables, but that may not be what he needs right now. And so doing what’s loving for him is meeting the need that he has right now.

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In His Service
BibleAsk Team

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