Should believers seek coaching from non-believers?

Author: BibleAsk Team


Automatic Transcript Generated:

Speaker 1

And so Francine is asking, should believers seek coaching from non believers? Oh, no. Our camera froze again.

Speaker 2

You have to take this one, Tina.

Speaker 1

While we work on the camera, while we come back.

Speaker 3

I think that’s a really good question because it’s something that I’ve thought of before. I’ve not thought coaching, like, as far as a life coach, but I have sought counsel and advice from people. And I think the Bible says in the multitude of counselors, there’s safety. Now, does that mean you should trust the counsel or the coaching? Whatever a coach or a counselor that is a non believer says? No. You have to use discernment and you use wisdom. But sometimes in certain things, there are people that are just knowledgeable. And I don’t think it’s wrong to gain some insight with the understanding that this person is not a believer. And you have to filter everything they say through the word of God, because like I says in Isaiah, chapter eight, verse 20, to the law and to the testimony, if they speak not according to this word, it is because there’s no light in them. Now, I’ve had people who have been a mentor to me in my career, and some of the things they shared were really insightful and really good. But at the same time, those same people have also given advice where I had to say, that’s not in harmony with God’s word, I’m not going to follow it.

Speaker 3

So you have to be really just prayerful and ask God for discernment and ask for the Holy Spirit, really and truly, before you contact the person. I would say the person that you’re thinking would be a good coach for you in a certain area. Ask God and pray, Lord, is this a direction you want me to take? And if God impresses you, like, no, this is not somebody you want to be coached from, then I would say, yeah, don’t even bother. But if you feel you don’t get a clear no, I would prayerfully and carefully listen to someone’s advice in their area of expertise. And then again, like I said, filter it through the word of God. Is what they’re saying biblical? Is what they’re saying true? Is this in harmony with my value system, with what I believe, as far as if it’s in harmony with the word of God? And I think that would be the best advice because just like when you’re in school, we didn’t all get to go to a christian school, and you had to sometimes listen to professors or teachers who were not believers, and you took in what was true and you had to filter out what is not true.

Speaker 3

And again, that takes a certain amount of spiritual discernment, which, again, can only come from God and through the Holy Spirit, as well as God speaking to you through his word, which you have to be studying. So that would be my advice on that. Jerry, Wendy, are your technical issues done, or are we back?

Speaker 1

Okay, great.

Speaker 3

And so, yeah, I’d like to hear your thoughts on that, too.

Speaker 2

That was an excellent question. I think both of us were like, wow, that’s exactly what we would said.

Speaker 1

Yes. Did you have some verses to add on it?

Speaker 2

I guess just I want to emphasize what Tina said and recast in the sense that a lot of people want bright line rules and don’t do this, and you could do that, but the Bible doesn’t often work that way, and it gives us room to exercise spiritual discernment and pray, just like what Tina said. So I’m going to point out kind of like a couple of little contradictory, seemingly contradictory statements, but it just shows that there’s general principles that we have to balance. So, for example, we have two corinthians 614, which is often cited by people as the reason why we should never, ever deal with people who aren’t christians. But that’s probably taking it way too far. That verse says, do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers for what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness and what communion has light with darkness? And you’re like, oh, that seems pretty scary. But if you look at the full context, he’s especially talking about probably being in situation where you’ll be brought down by idolatry, like being married to someone who’s an unbeliever insists on idol worship. So there’s wisdom in that statement that he’s saying, but it’s probably a stretch to say he’s saying, don’t ever have business relationships with anybody who’s a non believer.

Speaker 2

And now we have an example of, even in the Old Testament, where the wisest man on the planet actually hired out to and worked with heathens. And we find this in second Chronicles, chapter two. Starting at verse three, I’m going to read. And this is where Solomon reaches out to Hiram, king of Tire. And so they were idol worshippers. They were hardly God’s people, but at the same time, they were friendly with God’s people. So we’re talking about people in what is today Lebanon. And they had a good relationship with Solomon. Solomon reaches out to this king and says, as you have dealt with David, my father, and sent him cedars to build himself a house to dwell in. So deal with me. Behold, I am building a temple for the name of the Lord, my God, to dedicate it to him, to burn before him sweet incense for the continual bread. It goes on and on. But it’s fascinating here where you think Solomon’s going to be building the temple of God. That’s going to be like the most sacred thing. Like, surely the Israelites would just keep it to themselves as they did with the sanctuary, but here he outsources it.

Speaker 2

Now, if the Israelites had built it themselves, I’m sure God would have given them the ability. Maybe God would have preferred that potentially. I’ve seen some things that suggest that. But again, this wasn’t counted as a sin by Solomon. But if you later on read he goes too far where he’s just marrying tons of heathen women, and it’s these heathen women that do drag him down, take him into idolatry, and then set a terrible stage for Israel in the long term. So there’s times where it seems to be okay. Jesus was always out there mingling with the Samaritans and even went up into Lebanon and was ministering to people there. Christ’s heart was really with these people. So Christ didn’t even cut himself off from them. He broke taboos to, in fact, engage with people who would be heathens, gentiles and the like. So there’s a balance. So definitely we should interact with them, but be mindful that we’re not in a position where it will compromise our faith.

Speaker 1

And I want to add to that, too, that I think something to consider is the role that this coach is playing in your life. For instance, if they’re coaching you on how to use an excel spreadsheet, that’s not something that has a lot of spiritual weight to it. It’s a fairly technical, straightforward system kind of thing. So there’s not a lot of spirituality that’s going to come into that. On the other hand, if this is a coach who you’re going to be modeling your life after modeling or creating, that’s guiding you in a, in really important leadership ways, that is going to affect how you are going to lead as a person. That’s a very different relationship and has very different weight associated with it, because how do you want to be leading and how do you want to be showing up? Do you want to be doing that in a way that is consistent with the character of Christ? And how familiar are you and how much are you looking for? The coach to help you with that versus are you wanting to just get rich and you don’t care about anybody else and things like that, which I know you’re not that kind of person, but that’s just giving a couple of different extreme example scenarios on this.

Speaker 2

And by the way, I think pretty much every coach we’ve worked with has been Christian, but we’ve had those that we definitely feel like their heart is there with God. And then we’ve had these christian coaches who the difference between them and someone who’s not Christian is no different. Yeah, functionally, it’s not different.

Speaker 1

Yeah. I think it’s important to look is much or more at character than simply the name, because if someone says they’re christian but they’re telling you to evade taxes in your business or mistreat your workers. Yeah, mistreat your workers. This kind of thing, that’s not christian leadership and.

Speaker 2

That’S worldly advice.

Speaker 1

Exactly. That’s the wrong character there, so hope that’s clear. If you have any other questions on that, feel free to.

Speaker 2

And then we do have a related comment from Tom. Tom Lombardi. Great to hear a comment from viewers. Sure.

Speaker 1

And so Tom is saying, I don’t because God is ordaining the steps of your life as the believer. Romans 828.

Speaker 2

I think that’s an interesting concept and kind of like, ultimately our main coach should be God.

Speaker 3

Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2

He definitely has a plan, and I think that is true. No matter what we do, we should make sure it is according to his plan. Absolutely.

Speaker 1

I’m a very strong believer in praying about every coaching investment. And is this the path God wants me to go or not? And that is as weighty as anything else in the entire thing of is this the coaching relationship that God wants me to be in? And I think that prayer should just be there. Any Christian who’s going to engage a coach, hire a coach of any sort, any business decision we make, any big financial commitment we make, it should always be something that we ask in prayer to God. Is this what God wants us to do? Is this a responsible use of the funds he’s entrusted to us?

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In His Service
BibleAsk Team

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