Questions on faith and trust in relationships

Author: BibleAsk Team


Automatic Transcript Generated:

Speaker 1

Robert is asking. I’ve read in your article, relationships require faith. There’s no such thing as blind trust. What’s the difference between faith and trust? Tina always mentioned you have to build trust.

Speaker 2

So I’m guessing there’s a lot of questions we have. I’m guessing that the question you’re reading is, is faith based on knowledge? We do know it’s not based on blind find faith in that article. And so basically when it comes to faith and trust, they’re a very similar word. They both basically mean a strong belief. The word trust, I was like, let me just see if there’s a dictionary definition that makes it a little bit different. The only thing I saw was that the word trust, it’s a firm belief, whereas faith is a complete belief. But the Bible still uses both of them as important parts of your relationship with God. Like it says in Proverbs, chapter three, verse five, trust in the Lord with all your heart. So believe in God with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and he’ll direct your path. But then the just shall live by faith. Just like my brother Jay just mentioned, as well as it says all over the Bible, we need to have faith. And the Bible defines faith in Hebrews, chapter eleven, verse one, that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Speaker 2

So faith is very important as far as part of your salvation. You are saved by grace through faith. You have to believe. You have to completely believe in the word of God and what he’s promised to you for your salvation. And so is there a big difference between trust and faith? Not really. I would say that faith seems to be that absolute, complete belief without any doubt. Trust, like I said, is something you build on in any relationship. You do build on that trust. And when I was first a Christian and I started reading these Bible promises, it took time for me to start being like, god says he’s going to provide, god says he’s going to protect. I don’t know, that’s kind of scary. We live in a scary world, things can happen. But as I said, Lord, I’m going to choose to trust your Bible, I’m going to choose to trust your Word. And I would see him come through. I started having that trust build through experience. And I believe that that’s really important as far as your walk with God, that you need to have experiences with God as you put your trust in Him, as you believe what he says by faith, complete believing without doubting, which comes with time.

Speaker 2

Because just like there’s that prayer that I’ve had to pray at times too. It says, Lord, I believe, but help my unbelief. I want to believe, but I am struggling to believe sometimes. And that’s very normal. It’s part of your growing walk with God. And so, yeah, trust and faith, very similar. They’re both based on belief. But trust is kind of something you build. Faith is kind of something you just act upon because you just choose to believe it. So I don’t know if that helps make sense.

Speaker 3

And Robert Clarifies, that he may have met Wendy, was the one who spoke about blind trust. Blind faith. Do you recall what you’re talking about.

Speaker 1

There or the difference between on building trust?

Speaker 3

Well, you use the term maybe blind slave.

Speaker 1

I’m not sure.

Speaker 2

It was in the article. The blind faith was in the article.

Speaker 1

Yeah. But building trust I do talk a lot about because there is a certain amount which trust has to just be given. When I talk about building trust, usually what I’m talking about is after trust has been broken, then you have to rebuild trust. Because if you just trust someone who’s broken your trust and proven themselves untrustworthy, to just continue to ReTrust them is foolishness because they haven’t shown a change and they haven’t demonstrated that they’ve resolved the issues that are causing them to harm you and break your trust over and over. So that is usually the context of what I’m talking about with building trust, is rebuilding trust that has been broken.

Speaker 3

And then I have to say, I think the most useful practical definition of faith I’ve ever heard is depending on God’s promises. By depending on it’s, like you’re really leaning on it almost like people walk with a cane and they’re putting the weight on the cane. It’s kind of that level of trust, like, okay, God’s made a promise, so I’m going to go out on a limb and I’m going to depend on that promise because he said so and you know it. And then knowing that, then by faith you will make that leap. It’s like God says, maybe that scene from, you know, near the end where there’s this invisible path and it says the just will live by faith. And Indiana Jones sort of steps out even though it looks like there’s a deep chasm there, he steps out and sure enough, there’s a path there because it said there would be a path there. And that’s kind of how faith is with God.

Speaker 1

Yeah. All right. Okay, the next two questions are related to this. First one, so we’ll cover those two. So to build trust, you have to get to know them. Would that mean trust comes before faith or does faith happen at the same time when you trust somebody? Could you give an example with a relationship? So I would reference back to what I was saying before that building trust was about rebuilding trust when it’s been broken. And that does take getting to know somebody, and that does take them proving themselves to be trustworthy after having broken trust. So does trust come before faith? I don’t think so.

Speaker 3

I think faith I mean, look at God. Does God just say, got to trust Me no matter what? Now? I mean, that kind of was sort of the issue with Adam and Eve, but they still got to meet God, still got to spend some time with Him. He did all he could to show Him His love at the time. But that’s the same thing for us. It’s like, okay, why do we love God? Why should we trust Him and all this? We love Him because he first loved us one. John 419 and this is the significance of the cross too. The cross is all about trust. Okay, why should we trust God? Well, how about a God that would give up his humanity, come to the Earth, give up his life, be mistreated, be spit upon, all these things just so that he could free you from sin, from death, and have you be able to trust Him with a relationship? What more could God do then, at that point? So God has taken steps. He’s earned that trust too. I think even with our relationships too, yeah. There should be a certain level of gathering information to make sure you can trust that person.

Speaker 3

In legal profession, we call it due diligence.

Speaker 1

I actually think that faith comes before trust in a relationship. I think there is an element of.

Speaker 3

I’ll give you a chance while I’m.

Speaker 1

Still well, I think there’s an element of is this the relate? Like if we’re talking about a spousal type relationship, a close relationship, a relationship that has any kind of high stakes involved with it, I think there is an element to which it should be led by faith. As in, we recognize God is calling us into this relationship and by faith we are going into it. Now, if we are going into the relationship of our own making entirely, god is not calling us into this relationship. I think in that situation, people do often just put trust ahead of faith, but that’s not God’s calling and path. So I think faith should precede trust. And we can trust much more because we have the faith that this is where God is calling us to go.

Speaker 3

Once you get old enough, you start going to a lot of weddings, you’re going to hear the same story where the girl wasn’t interested in the guy and the guy kept pursuing, kept pursuing, kept pursuing. Eventually the woman gives him a chance and thinks, actually, maybe there’s something here. What changed? Well, the husband was showing love, was caring for her because he loved first, she loved back. So I just keep coming back to that concept from the Bible. And then I think maybe this goes segue to Robert’s third question.

Speaker 1

Sure. By the way, that works. He loved me, so I loved Him back. If I’m in a relationship, what do I have faith in? Is it faith that makes me trust my partner? What builds trust and faith when is it okay to trust and have faith in my partner or someone?

Speaker 3

Tina, do you have.

Speaker 2

Think, you know, the main thing is if God has led you to that relationship and that’s really the most important thing. Kind of like Wendy’s saying, like if God is leading you, you really need to make sure that this is a relationship that God is leading. And I think Wendy and I both claimed Psalm 37 where it says, delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. And so when I was praying, the Lord put a pressed upon my heart to start praying for my future husband before he and I ever met or had started courting or seeing each other or anything like that. And so it was kind of like by faith I was praying, Lord, there’s going to be somebody. And then when he came along it was very clear I prayerfully said, Lord, is this your will? Make it very plain. And I asked for very specific things and so God made very specific answers to prayer as you know, being led in this relationship. So first and foremost, make sure this is God’s leading in the relationship. And as you see that this is God’s will, god’s opening the know trust by faith that he is leading.

Speaker 2

Like my friend Wendy is saying, you do need to have faith in the relationship because there’s going to come know things are going to come up that are like, oh, this isn’t perfect or exactly what I thought or what I thought would be whatever I wanted or in some way it might be different than what you first imagined. But god knows what’s best. And so having faith that this is God’s leading and just bringing it to God every single day, though. Because there have been times, I know, in the past where I feel like sometimes God allows you to go through a relationship for a season and it’s not with your marriage partner, but God does allow relationships for a season to learn something for a future relationship. And so just trust God’s leading every day, make sure this is from God and completely surrender the relationship to God’s will every day. And as God opens the doors, walk through them by faith and just demonstrate to this person that you’re in the relationship with. As you see God’s opening the door, make sure that you’re learning and keeping your eyes open to ways that you can be Christlike to this person and learn about how to love this person the way Christ also loves his so and develop your character in that way.

Speaker 1

And the question here of if I’m in a relationship, what do I have faith in? We should always have our faith in God, nothing else. It’s not about faith in the relationship, it’s about faith in God that God has led us into this relationship. We shouldn’t be in any relationship that God hasn’t let us into. And so if we have faith in God and that he has led us into this relationship, then we are trusting God. And as we trust God, we also then are able to trust our spouse as long as our spouse is also trusting in God and following God. And this is important because, for instance, I think about people who are in a relationship with someone who has the severe mental illness is very unstable, very impulsive sometimes. You can’t always trust your spouse in those situations. It’s unfortunate, but they’re not well. And so you may not be able to trust them in that situation. But if God brought you into this relationship, you can still trust God that he can help you and guide you through this situation and to discern what you can trust and what you cannot trust.

Speaker 1

For instance, I think about somebody that I know who is very unstable and would spend money very easily. And the spouse of this person was struggling because this person was spending money so excessively and on things that weren’t going to help their life advance, really. And so in that situation, trusting that spouse with that money to do what’s best for the family, actually that wasn’t necessarily the healthiest thing for them in their relationship because they couldn’t pay their bills, because this person was being irresponsible. But trusting in God to provide for them and to help them through this situation and to help them to see what is trustworthy and what is not and to make informed decisions around that is key. The relationship, the faith, the trust always starts with the God connection and then transfers to the relationship with the spouse. And I think about like even early in our relationship, there was times where things came up and it was like, god, you called me into this relationship. What do you want me to do with this situation? Because I don’t know how this works for me. But instead of being mad at my husband, I talked to God about it and suddenly the issue just resolved itself

Speaker 1

And this thing that I was terrified of being like this big issue just diffused and disappeared because I talked to God about it and I didn’t burden Him with it and stress Him out with it. And he just could think about the situation and he just would say something that would suddenly alleviate the fear that I had. And so the relationship being with God.

Speaker 3

Is the key and I just want to reinforce what they’re saying. I think having that trust in God and knowing God is there helps create a safe space as an extra safety layer so that you can go out on a limb and trust people a little bit more than we normally would want to in this very wicked world. But we do have to at some point reach a point where we do actually trust another person if we’re going to be in a very intimate, loving relationship. As Paul says in one Corinthians 13, starting at verse four, love is patient, love is kind, we know all these things. But verse five, he says love. Verse six, or what was it? Why can I find it now? Yeah, but it says always trusts. Okay, verse seven, it always protects, always trusts. Okay, so everything in One Corinthians 13 not only applies to us and how we should try to live love, but it’s also how God loves. So guess what? If trusting is a part of love, does God trust? Oh yeah. We’re seeing God all the time trusting us. He keeps getting bruised, he keeps getting cheated on, he keeps getting backstabbed all the time.

Speaker 3

But that’s what makes God so amazing. It’s the ultimate example of love. And it’s not that we should ever likewise, totally feel like we have to go let ourselves get completely abused like that. We’re not saying that, absolutely not. But but that ultimately is how love is. It trusts. And I love how some people say god trusts us more than we trust ourselves.

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