Automatic Transcript Generated:
So Robert is asking, what’s the difference between loyalty, love and respect? Is it possible to be loyal to someone you don’t love? Is respecting someone a form of love in action? Is love all these three things in one?
That’s a really great question, Robert. And I think each one of these things has its own merit. And Jay, you can jump in and Jamie can jump in and share your thoughts. When I saw this, I couldn’t help but go to a verse in Ephesians chapter five and verse 33, and it’s talking about husbands and wives is basically the context. But what Paul says here is something really interesting. Again, Ephesians five, verse 33, and he says, nevertheless, let each one of you in particular is talking to the husband. So love his own wife as himself and let the wife respect her husband. And so he points out that there is a huge difference, at least within husbands and wives, for the wife needing to be loved and the husband needing to be respected. And I do think that there is a big difference between loyalty, love and respect. And I do think they can be independent of each other, but I do think love and respect and loyalty absolutely go together as well. Kind of like I’m trying to think of even like an apple has appeal, it has the flesh and it has a core.
Each one of those pieces are very different, but together they make something really great. So as far as loyalty, yeah, you can be loyal to somebody that you don’t really love or you don’t really respect. I mean, that’s most people with their job, they’re loyal to their boss, even though they might not like the company or whatever that they work for, but they’re still loyal. So, yeah, I think you could definitely be loyal, or even to your spouse. You might not even love or respect your spouse, but you’re loyal to them because you made a commitment. Sadly, that could be the case. And you can respect somebody that you don’t love. There’s been some people that I’m like, wow, I respect how amazing they are at something, but I don’t have a relationship with them, I don’t love them, I’m not loyal to them, but I have a respect for them or even somebody who’s scary. You could have a respect, but you don’t necessarily have any kind of love or loyalty. So I think that they can be very separate things. But do I think respecting somebody and being loyal to them, that is definitely part of loving them as far as love and action, but I think it can encompass a lot of other things.
Jay or Wendy, any other thoughts?
I think you’re spot on. You could have loyalty without love, but you cannot have love with loyalty. And this is like what the fifth commandment is thou shalt not commit adultery. That’s the heart of it between a man and a wife very much loyalty. Are you going to be committed to just each other and not have any other close independent relations with another? On the flip side, with a relationship to God, do not have any other gods before me, do not bow down to any graving images. This again is coming back to your loyalty to God. So these Ten Commandments commandments are teaching us how to love. And so we see here the essence. A part of love is then being loyal to somebody. And then when it comes to respect, yeah, it’s sort of the same thing, right? So you could respect somebody maybe without love, but if you’re going to love somebody, hopefully you’ll have the respect for them too. And it is interesting, science has shown that statistically men do favor respect. That’s really their greater core need. And women need more of the love. And it is interesting how God made us that way.
So it’s forcing men to learn how to love and then women will need to learn to respect. And men then are actually called to the higher duty. Men are called to be in the position of Christ who loves the church. And so we often think, oh women. So you got to submit, you got to respect. And so it’s really on you to always cape to the guy. But really Jesus always says and showed us that leadership is service. He who is greatest of all is the servant of all. And likewise so the husband, while the head of the household is going to his whole objective then should be how can I really serve my wife to the fullest and love her to the fullest and benefit her? And you look at the relationship between the Father and the Son. It’s the same way you have this false concept of that the Father is dictatorial and whatever he wants, he gets. And Jesus just finally goes and follows in a base. And yes, Jesus does just obey whatever the Father says, but it’s because he knows the Father truly loves him and he knows the Father truly is going to do what’s best for anybody and everybody.
And they are in one accord. And Jesus totally understands it and says yes, 100% great. I love what you’re doing, Father. And so the Father Glorifies Magnifies lifts up the Son, and the Son Glorifies Manifies lifts up the Father and neither one is puffing up themselves, but they are lifting up each other. And this is exactly how it should be within a marriage and in any other relationship. That’s true love, I guess that encompasses them respect.
And respect flows easily when love is present. That’s like in a marriage relationship. It’s very easy for me to respect my husband when he treats me with love. But I agree also that love has to entail respect. If you say you love somebody but you don’t actually respect them, that’s really not love. If I’m in a relationship with someone and they don’t respect who respect me, I’m not going to feel loved by them. That’s just the reality of it. Love, I do believe, encapsulates both respect and loyalty. But yeah, I see it kind of as a hierarchy. You could almost see it as a hierarchy where it’s like love is at the top. It includes respect, which includes loyalty, but it works kind of in that order, not necessarily the other way around.
It is interesting to me that the Bible doesn’t really emphasize loyalty all that much. For example, if you jump to the NKJV, it’s not mentioned all that many times. Let’s see, 20 verses and usually it’s not really with respect to a relationship with God in the New Testament, in the NKV it only shows up twice. Matthew 624 where Jesus says no one can serve two masters for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. And then Luke 16 is 13 is just the repeat of basically that same verse.
Yeah, I think too like loyalty is kind of a fruit of love too. You can’t help but be loyal to somebody that you love or care about. When I think about my husband, I have a ton of respect for him and I love him to death. And I can’t imagine because of that, it’s just loyalty is there. I don’t even think about it because it’s just part of the love I have for him and how much I respect him. And so, yeah, I think it’s definitely almost like a fruit of those things. It just happens as a natural cause. I think that’s why God doesn’t emphasize it as much. He’s like because if you love me, you’re you by the fruit of that is just definitely going to be loyalty to him.
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