Is it a sin if you lose your virginity before marriage? Or are you less of a Christian if you do?

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Virginity in the Bible

Virginity is the state of a person who has never engaged in sexual activity. In the Bible, a young woman’s virginity was treasured as proof of her purity before marriage (Deuteronomy 22:15-17). The Lord gave instructions to protect the virginity of His children. We read, “If a man finds a young woman who is a virgin, who is not betrothed, and he seizes her and lies with her, and they are found out, then the man who lay with her shall give to the young woman’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife because he has humbled her; he shall not be permitted to divorce her all his days” (Deuteronomy 22:28, 29 also Exodus 22:16).  

Also, “If a young woman who is a virgin is betrothed to a husband, and a man finds her in the city and lies with her, then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city, and you shall stone them to death with stones, the young woman because she did not cry out in the city, and the man because he humbled his neighbor’s wife; so you shall put away the evil from among you. But if a man finds a betrothed young woman in the countryside, and the man forces her and lies with her, then only the man who lay with her shall die“ (Deuteronomy 22:23-25).  These laws and others showed how God regarded the importance of virginity. 

Sex and marriage

The Lord created sex as an expression of love, intimacy, sharing, unity and procreation between a married couple. Jesus said, “At the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Matthew 19:4-6).
Sex outside the unity of marriage is sin. It is breaking the seventh commandment which states: “Thou shalt not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14). This commandment is man’s third duty toward his “neighbor.” A person has to respect and honor the bond upon which the family is built, that of the marriage relationship, which to the Christian is as precious as life itself (Hebrews 13:4). This prohibition for sex covers not only adultery (voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a partner other than the lawful spouse) but fornication (voluntary sexual intercourse between persons not married to each other) and impurity of every act, word, and thought (Matthew 5:27, 28).

In 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 Paul teaches, “Do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men . . . will inherit the kingdom of God.“ And he adds, “it is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality” (1 Thessalonians 4:3).

Will you go to hell if you lose your virginity before marriage?

The Bible says, “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23; Ezekiel 18:4). When Adam and Eve disobeyed God’s command and ate of the forbidden tree, death entered the world and caused all the pain and suffering that we see all around us (Genesis 3:1-15). God didn’t wink at this one sin but condemned our first parents to eternal death (Genesis 3:16-19).
And because of this one sin, the Son of God had to suffer and die to redeem mankind (1 Peter 2:24). The price of redeeming the human race was too high. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).

Man’s condition of obedience for remaining in Eden is also the same condition for being restored to Eden. Therefore, the most evidence of a truly converted person is to break the pattern of disobedience. And those who will be restored to the lost paradise will have to demonstrate that they can be trusted through obedience (1 John 5:3). Their steadfast loyalty will be an eternal guarantee of the security of God’s restored kingdom.  Jesus said, “If ye love me, keep my commandments” (John 14:15).

Hope for those that lost their virginity before marriage

There is hope for those that have fell and lost their virginity before marriage. God is more than willing to forgive and cleanse their sins if they repent. The Lord promised, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). The gift of everlasting life, which Adam and Eve lost by their sin (Romans 5:12), will be restored to all those who are willing to accept it and prepare themselves for it by dedicating their lives to obey God’s commands (Romans 2:7; 6:22; Revelation 21:4; 22:2, 3).
God gives the victory over the weaknesses of the flesh to the believer through His grace. Paul declared “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). Through faith in God’s promises, unbelievable power is released into the life of the one who is willing to give up the life of sin. Thus, “We are more than conquerors through Him who loved us” (Romans 8:37).
In His service,

This post is also available in: हिन्दी (Hindi)