You have not committed the unpardonable sin or blasphemy against the Holy Spirit even though you expressed it verbally, since you are sorry and repentant. But you need to ask for God’s forgiveness and cleansing to that you don’t sin again (1 John 1:9).
What is the meaning of blasphemy? In John 10:33, we read, “The Jews answered Him, saying, ‘For a good work we do not stone You, but for blasphemy, and because You, being a Man, make Yourself God.’” Blasphemy means the crime of assuming to oneself the rights or qualities of God. From your letter you did not show that you have assumed the right or qualities of God.
Blasphemy itself is not the unpardonable sin. In 1 Timothy 1:13, the apostle Paul writes: “Although I was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an insolent man; but I obtained mercy because I did it ignorantly in unbelief.” We know Paul will be in heaven even though he was a blasphemer at one time because God’s grace saves the repentant ones.
What is the unpardonable sin? To answer this: you need to understand the work of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit does three things: First, He teaches us the things we need to know for our salvation (John 14:26). Second, the Spirit guides us into all truth (John 16:13). Third, the mission of the Holy Spirit is to convict of sin (John 16:7, 8).
Therefore, as long as you allow the Holy Spirit to teach you, to guide you, and to convict you, you could never be guilty of committing the unpardonable sin. But if you consistently refuse these three operations of the Spirit, then you begin the process of committing the unpardonable sin. At this point, the conscience becomes hardened (1 Timothy 4:2). This deadly sin is also called “grieving away” the Holy Spirit. “Grieve not the Holy Spirit, wherewith you are sealed” (Ephesians 4:30).
If you still feel convicted of sin and want to repent, then you have not committed the unpardonable sin. So, rest in God.
Guard the avenues to your soul which include what you hear, see, taste and smell. The Bible says, “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). Once you experience a deliverance from God, you need to instantly fill your heart with the daily study of the Word of God, prayer, and witnessing. Jesus says, “If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you” (John 15:7).
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In His service,