Strong Relationship with the Lord
A man’s personal spiritual relationship with the Lord is of supreme importance in his pursuit of finding a good wife. “And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight” (1 John 3:22). A man has to be in tune with God to be able to discern His leading to the right woman (Psalm 37:4).
The Apostle Paul tells us not to be “unequally yoked” with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14). Unless a man and woman are in full agreement on this most crucial issue of faith, a godly and fulfilling marriage cannot take place. To be unequally yoked is to disobey God and to bargain with the devil. Separateness from sin and sinners is clearly taught throughout the Bible (Leviticus 20:24; Numbers 6:3; Hebrews 7:26; etc.)
The Godly Qualities of a Good Wife
In the Old Testament, Solomon the wisest man, gave a clear description of a godly woman in Proverbs 31:10-31. In His writings, Solomon taught that charm and beauty in themselves are of little value. Some who possess loveliness of form and face prove unlovely in the stress of daily life. Beauty earns the praise of the unthinking, but the only woman of true worth is the one who fears the Lord and works hard for the welfare of her family.
And in the New Testament, the apostle Paul taught that a good wife would submit to her husband as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22-24). If a woman is not surrendered to the Lord, she will not likely see submission to her husband as necessary. But the husband in turn has to love her as Christ loved the church and gave His life to save her (Ephesians 5:25).
Paul also gave some character traits for good women: “In the same way, their wives are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything” (1 Timothy 3:11). In other words, a good woman should be humble, moderate and can be fully trusted. “Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price” (1 Peter 3:3,4). A Christian women should not stress surface beauty but rather inner beauty of a sweet and meek character.
Finally, for a man who cannot read the heart of a woman, the only sure way to estimate the quality of a good wife is to study the fruit of her life as revealed in her works. The unselfish works of the virtuous woman and her good kind example would speak for her character (Matthew 5:16).
In His service,