How can I get a good wife?

Hello T,

Thank you for contacting BibleAsk.

A man’s personal spiritual relationship with the Lord is of supreme importance in the success of him finding a good wife. A man has to be in tune with God to be able to discern His leading to the right woman. The Apostle Paul tells us not to be “unequally yoked” with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14). Unless a man and woman are in full agreement on this most crucial issue of faith, a godly and fulfilling marriage cannot take place.

What are some godly qualities a man may look for in a wife?

In the OT, Solomon the wisest man, gave a clear description of a godly woman in proverbs 31:10-31. In His writings, Solomon teaches that charm and beauty in themselves are of little value. Some who possess loveliness of form and face prove unlovely in the stress of daily life. Beauty earns the praise of the unthinking, but the only woman of true worth is the one who fears the Lord and works hard for the welfare of her family.

And in the NT, the apostle Paul tells that a good wife should submit to her husband as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22-24). If a woman is not surrendered to the Lord, she will not likely see submission to her husband as necessary. But the husband in turn has to love her as Christ loved the church and gave His life to save her (Ephesians 5:25).

Paul also gives some character traits for good women “In the same way, their wives are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything” (1 Timothy 3:11). In other words, a good woman should be humble, moderate and can be fully trusted.  “Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price” (1 Peter 3:3,4). A Christian women should not stress surface beauty but rather inner beauty of a sweet and meek character.

Finally, for men who cannot read the heart, the only sure way to estimate the quality of a good wife is to study the fruit of the life as revealed in her works. The unselfish works of the virtuous woman and her good kind example speak for her character.

For more on the Marriage Institution: https://bibleask.org/bible-answers/176-the-marriage-institution

In His service,

BibleAsk Team

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