Automatic Transcript Generated:
Speaker 1
So Emron is asking or stating or something if sex before marriage is recommended according to the Bible.
Speaker 2
Emeron, and again, I hope I’m saying your name right. This is definitely another great important question people are raising, and I’m excited to answer this one and if I ever get a little a bit heated, is not at you because I think the Christian church has really failed to articulate why marriage is important, why sex before marriage also is important. If what you’re giving there is a statement, sorry, yeah, no sex. So does the Bible say we recommend sex before marriage? No, to the opposite. It says don’t do that. It’s a very strong don’t do that. But it’s not don’t do that because God said don’t do it. And it’s a good reason not to do something. If God says don’t. But God is not a dictator. He’s not saying just don’t do it because I said so. He’s saying it because I love you, I know what’s best for you. Please trust me, have faith in what I’m saying and follow my commands because that’s going to keep you happy and healthy and full of life. And when we depart from that, that’s when we get sin in all sorts of trouble. I mean, I saw statistics a few months ago, we just talked about how young people are just experiencing so much heartache, shame, pain, all these things, because they feel like they have to have all this premarital sex.
Speaker 2
They’re not enjoying it, they’re having all this awkwardness, all these problems, mental health issues because of it. And God wanted to spare us from all these things. So here, Bible asks we’re about the Bible and let’s look at what it says. So Hebrews 13, verse four, very important verse on this. It says, Marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers. God will judge who are foreign. Occators. So this is from the Greek word pornos, where we get pornography from, and it just meant fornicator pornos. I mean, it’s a man who indulges in unlawful sexual intercourse, a foreign decador, I mean, someone who is basically sleep around before marriage and having multiple sex partners. This verse is this is a person God’s going to judge. God doesn’t like that. The marriage is the context within which God wanted us to have sex. And let’s dive into this. Why does it make so much sense and why is it so important? First, Genesis 24, verse 67. This verse illustrates how actually having sex often is associated with consummation of the marriage. When you have sex with somebody and you are now basically married with them, the verse reads, Then Isaac brought her.
Speaker 2
This is speaking of Rebecca, who had just arrived now, and he brought her into his mother’s tent and he took Rebecca and she became his wife and he loved her. Did he catch her, though? He brought her into his mother’s tent and took rebecca and she became his wife. They basically made their marriage happen through the intercourse. And if you read Deuteronomy 22, verses 2029, it talks about a situation where, like if a man went and raped the woman, he would then have to go off to marry her. And as his penalty for forcing her into the sex, he’s not able to ever divorce her. This is like serious stuff. Marriage is important. Sex is an important part of that. Let me give you a bit more understanding why this matters. Again, a lot of Christians don’t talk about it, but let’s look at first. Genesis one, verse 27. I’m going to read from the NIV. I don’t know what the theme is from today, but I have a lot of verses where NAV is actually a little bit better. It’s not always the case, but in this verses I like it better. So Genesis one, verse 27, it says, so God created mankind in his own image.
Speaker 2
In the image of God, he created them, male and female, he created them. And when I looked in the Hebrew and this is actually a very fair translation of it, I believe it is male and female together. That’s especially in the image of God, because what is God? God is a unity of beings. You have the Father. The Son. Holy Spirit. Together. They are God. Same way, male and female. That’s when we’re especially in the image of God, when we’re together, when we are one. Because Genesis 224 talks about how man would leave his mother and father and cleave unto his wife and they will become one flesh. And Jesus prays. This is just for people in general. He’s praying for his followers to be like one. He says his Father is you and I are one. That’s from John 17, one. So oneness is very much a trait of Godliness and this is how we’re made in his image. And there’s no other relationship that is so intimate. And we get to experience oneness as we do with marriage. And again, that was supposed to be with one man, one woman their entire life, or once they’re married, the rest of their life, they’re together experiencing oneness.
Speaker 2
And of course, sex is just so profound in terms of his oneness, its implication, his closeness, all these things. And Paul has a very good point when it talks about this concept of oneness. One. Corinthians six. Corinthians six. Starting at verse 15, paul says, do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not. Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For the two, he says, for the two, he says that you shall become one flesh. But he who is joined in the Lord is one spirit with him. He’s referencing that verse in Genesis. So when you sleep with a harlot. You’re one with her and she was one with everybody before her. And this also gets into the epidemic we have now with STDs. Look at god is trying to spare you from these things. God is trying to keep us from there’s emotional issues again attached with this for her, for you. So please, God is saying I’ve made a very special thing for you.
Speaker 2
I made marriage. It’s supposed to be beautiful. Why marriage? Why one Malachi, two? Verse 14 to 15 Jesus says and the Lord has been witnessed between you and the wife of your youth with whom you have dealt treacherously, yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But did he God not make them one having a remnant of the Spirit? Wow. Isn’t it weird? Like the Holy Spirit actually now is a part of your oneness and comes into play. And why one? He seeks Godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your Spirit and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. So again, of course, having children becomes an important part of marriage and having this close relationship with their wives and husbands if he’s in 525. All this now especially is in the context of love. And husbands are called to love as Christ loves. And it’s written husbands love your wives. Just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the Word, that he might present to her, to Himself a glorious church, not having a spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she should be holy and without blemish.
Speaker 2
So that husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. Who loves his wife, loves himself. And so if you’re sleeping around with other people, you’re risking yourself getting a CDs, you’re mostly attaching to other people. This is going to be damaging to you and it’s also going to be hurting your spouse. And a man should be called to especially a higher standard of love and be preserving himself also for his wife as an act of love. I can’t keep going, but I hope you’re seeing the point here. I don’t think you will ever regret not sleeping with somebody and regret not having premediated sex. You can’t take back though sleep with others. So I really encouraging you to trust God on this and learn what it really means to have deep intimacy and oneness with one person. Because that is getting to experience divinity in an extremely unique way that God has made available to us. And so I hope that you will feel inspired here and a little bit more interest in what God has planned for you and your life and maybe there’s special someone out there for you someday that you’ll get to experience this oneness with.
Speaker 2
Because it is a beautiful, wonderful thing. Julie can’t see I’m holding her hand. Tina anything you like to add about this?
Speaker 1
Actually, I just wanted to say, too, that for anybody who hasn’t saved herself for marriage, it doesn’t mean that there isn’t forgiveness for that. It doesn’t mean that you can’t still have a beautiful marriage and experience the wonderful, beautiful thing that is intimacy within marriage. God wants that for you. No matter what has happened already, he still wants you to have that, which he has designed for all of us to have. So I just wanted to add that little bit.
Speaker 2
Yeah, and that’s a good point. God could forgive any sin, any of them, and he can purify us from anything. Thank you for that now, Tina.
Speaker 3
Amen. Thank you for that. And I think that’s such a beautiful perspective and I know you guys have such a beautiful story. I got to see it happen. I was their maid of honor, so very proud of them. And I’m so grateful that God has blessed us, you guys. And I’m blessed with the good husband as well. And the beautiful thing about marriage is just it’s so symbolic of basically Christ in the church. And I think that’s why God holds it so sacred and that’s why it’s so important that we don’t fall off of the way of the world, which is just to follow and do whatever you feel like. I just want to quote really quick romans, chapter twelve, verses one and two, because this always made so much sense to me, where it says in Romans twelve, starring versus ronnie says, I beseech you. He’s like, I’m asking you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, he’s almost pleading with these men that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy being set apart for a special purpose acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. This is a reasonable thing God is asking of you to do.
Speaker 3
And in verse two he says, and do not be conformed to this world, but be you transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God. And so when it comes to sexuality and it comes to sex before marriage, it’s really not a good idea because you’re basically going outside of God’s will. Because God only put sex in the context of marriage. And he did that for a very good reason. Because when God said the first time, God was like, okay, go do this. He said, Be fruitful and multiply. And the thing is, as much as you might try to prevent, sometimes kids still can happen. And the thing is, more than yourself, more than this other person, you need to think about the future offspring that you may be producing as you are participating in sex. And the thing is, there are so many children today that are the product of their parents who did not stay within these bounds. And the children are the ones that suffer the most. And it kills me because I work in public education, I’ve worked in public settings, secular settings, for years and years, and I’ve just seen so many broken homes and so many damaged children emotionally because of the choices of their parents.
Speaker 3
And their parents just wanted to sleep around and, oh, Mum got pregnant and dad left, and guess what? The one that pays the price the most is the children. And it’s heartbreaking. And I think you’re right. Yes, STDs are terrible for yourself and for the other person you might give it to or get it from. But more than that, in my heart as a mom now, especially seeing, like, the way kids suffer, it’s just not fair.
Speaker 2
I mean, that’s what Malachi 214 or 15 is getting that marriage was there to help protect the kids, too.
Speaker 3
Yeah, exactly. And you did touch on that and I appreciate that so much. And I guess just as a mom now, I just can’t even imagine doing that to my child. To just make them feel like, oh, mom wasn’t even married. Just a shame that that puts on the kid. There’s a lot to it. And so, anyways, I really want you to think about my little one. She’s sad because Mom’s away for five minutes. Can you imagine one of the parents not even being in the picture? So please consider not just yourself and what feels good to you at the moment, but the future of not just you, but your possible offspring. So thank you for that. And I think we have time for one more question, but I think before we jump into that, are there any other questions or anything else you wanted to add to that?
Speaker 2
No, I could go on, but.
Speaker 3
Yeah, and I mean, I guess this question really gets to me, just because I’ve had so many friends who had sex outside of marriage and they were raised in the church and they were Christian, however, they ended up having kids. I have a friend who has four kids and has never been married and it’s been so hard on her and so hard on her kids. Again, it’s not a good situation to put yourself in, to put your future offspring in. And there’s just so many things going on with that.
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In His Service
BibleAsk Team
